Saturday, April 5, 2014

I am an ADDICT

Yasssss, I am an addict. Hard to believe and accept but it's true. I recent arrived at that conclusion after an incident. Older and wiser now, I am trying all avenues to weight loss because truth be told I'm tired of carrying this weight around. Most importantly, I don't want to become like my mother. Harsh but true. I don't want to be riddled with diseases and be looking at mortality right in the face and know that the only reason I'm still living is by the grace of the almighty God.

I started a cleanse which is going kinda  sorta well except for the fact that I can't sleep at night. Now this makes me very grouchy and not the friendliest person ever. I love then cleanse though because I'm often not hungry, and I'm full on very little food. I think that happens mainly because I chug tons of water. On one such cleanse day, I got home at 10pm and first I saw was food so I ate it. Needless to say I hated myself for that because I was not hungry and had no valid reason for eating a whole meal. As I thought back I realized I'm addicted to food and have an emotional connection to food, which started at young age when my grandma died. My weight escalated with no one paying attention to me especially my mother because she was more concerned with her younger siblings and assuming parental control over them because truth be told, my grandfather could careless and also a wreck that mom had to take care of.

I'm taking a break from the cleanse, trying a work out regimen again and also get on the garcenia whatever band wagon for a minute and see what's up. Regarding this addiction, I'm taking it to prayer which is what I know and do best. Be on the look out....I'm being transformed in body, soul, spirit and mind.